xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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