bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
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she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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