My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
