Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
