It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This is my gift to your gina
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
