is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
