Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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