she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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