Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
being pregnant is like rehab
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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