She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
