That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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