You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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