i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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