with your own penis?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize