yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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