I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I just went to clothing optional bar