you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it