so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.