Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
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I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.