Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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