i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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