big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
