After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
