i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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