where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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