Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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