Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
