So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
