I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.