So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.