I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT