Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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