Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
