Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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