I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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