SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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