I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
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Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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