I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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