I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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