Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
