whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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