My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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