I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize