My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
