I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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