it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again