Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?