My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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