Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.