you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize