I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.