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• (408): View more from California

  i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

  (650): View more from California

  i think otters can do that

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• (925): View more from California

  Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

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• (956): View more from Texas

  You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.

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• (310): View more from California

  I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob

  (310): View more from California

  That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...

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