I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
