xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills