you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
