sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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