It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize