We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
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isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.