one two three fourrrrnication!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize