I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
