She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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